I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you remember whose house we're in?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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