its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
