it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize