you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
