Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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