it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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