i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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