playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
