The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The air was thick with penises
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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