escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
