i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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