Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
