The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
