I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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