I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Everything about him screamed your future.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
