You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
