Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
