I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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