Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
