margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
