Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you would pick up someone in the library
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
