Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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