Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
