i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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