porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
