if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
