sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
