What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
