She is in my trunk
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Pants are for mortals
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