Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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