there's paper in my vomit.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
