worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
