God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
