Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize