WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
