Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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