dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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