omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
