She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
