u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize