im having a threesome with these popsicles
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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