if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
