my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize