oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
