4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize