Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
