I will die if light touches me.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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