If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
