what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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