He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
