3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
