You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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