it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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