He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
