i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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