If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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