I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
