Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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