She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
