Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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