No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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