Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
