grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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