How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
